As I sit here I know I am blessed but I can’t help but think this life is not for me. I feel like I have a bigger purpose, I just haven’t quite figured out what it is! Where do you even start????
Daily It pops into my head and I sit here just waiting for an idea to set off the lightbulb and go ‘ding’ (that’s the right idea popping up) but then daily I go to bed and it hasn’t happened. Is this just what my life is destined to be? The shell of me that I am in would say yes but the inner me; who doesn’t shut up is not willing to accept that more is not coming my way. When I say more I am not referring to materialistic things I just mean a better sense of living and to be able to say “I’ve been put on this earth to do …”
Is this chronic illness that I am living with making this journey harder for me? Or can I just push through all the crap to give this life more purpose?
One thing is for certain. I will not be defeated by MS nor will it define me! So I may take slightly longer to get where I want to be but I will get there (if the kids don’t drive me completely insane before then! But that’s a whole other story!!)