It has taken me a while but I think I’ve finally found ME. What I mean when I say this is I’ve spent a long time wondering and procrastinating about how my life is and what there is to come. For a long time I considered myself ‘Just a Mum‘ when I worked I would put myself down and say I’m ‘Just a receptionist.’ For so long I felt like I was a failure, like I had nothing to contribute to this world. I felt like my life was a continuous cycle of the same thing over and over and it was getting boring.
Since being diagnosed with MS I have actually become a better person, a better me, I have a lot more self belief and I feel like somehow I will leave a stamp on this earth; it might be small but it will be there.
How Is it that this cruel disease can change me as a person?
Well to put it quite simply, you really don’t appreciate things maybe as much as you should until its taken from you. MS took away feeling in my legs, it temporarily took my clear eyesight, its taken me- I cannot be me how I was before and that really did frustrate me for a long time but very slowly I’ve come to terms with how I am now and I’ve realised I am still me! Yes I am tired, yes I need a chair close by and yes my head hurts too much to do things sometimes but I’ve learned that the people that matter in my life will still see me for me.
Since my diagnosis life has had to change but never did I imagine it would change me for the better. It has given me a perspective that I never had before. It has taught me how to be content with the little things in life. It has shown me that I shouldn’t waste time on things which in the grand scheme of things really aren’t important. It has taught me to have more gratitude for the good in my life. Most of all it has taught me the power of positivity. every ache, pain, numbness I just take it now and put a positive spin on things. I will not give into this. I am a strong believer in ‘Mind over matter’ meaning if my mind is in the right place MS cannot take over. I am an optimist now and I live in hope. I have to otherwise this journey would be a lot more difficult.
My whole outlook is different, MS has allowed my mind to open up and think in a really different way. MS has made me more compassionate and less judgemental and for that I am grateful. I am lucky to be able to see life in this light now and be the woman I have become over the years.
Multiple Sclerosis has made me sit up and realise that I’m a fighter now and I need to be on top. MS has created a stronger version of me, one that will not go down without a fight.
MS you are a pain, you make my life harder but I have to thank you for making me become who I am now, a better me.
Kim x x